Relocated: Part Four
Part Four of Red vs. Blue: Relocated was released on March 9, 2009 and is the last episode of Relocated. It is also the 133rd episode overall. Characters Red Team *Sarge *Simmons *Grif *Lopez *Donut *Holo-Grif Blue Team *Caboose Synopsis Sarge and Lopez get the new weapon on the Warthog working and test it on holographic simulations of Grif. Donut mysteriously arrives and gives Grif a cryptic warning involving Tucker. Meanwhile, Caboose seems to have gathered the corpses/armor of his former teammates at Valhalla's Blue Base for unknown reasons. Transcript Sarge drives up in jeep, gets out Sarge: Now this is more like it! Great job on the simulator, Lopez; Good work on the power, Simmons. Simmons: Thank you, sir! Grif: Simmons?! I'm the one that was almost killed just so you could get the electricity back on. Sarge: Yep, but it was worth it. Grif: You say that every time I'm almost killed. Flashback to Halo: CE Sarge, Simmons runs up Simmons: Sarge! Grif was spying on the blues and they captured him! Sarge: What'd he find out? Are they planning something? Simmons: No, they were standing around talking, like always. But now they're gonna kill him! Sarge: Well, it was worth it. Flash to Halo 2 Sarge and Simmons talking Sarge: The base looks so clean Simmons! Excellent work. Simmons: Yeah, too bad Grif was almost killed by his allergic reaction to the cleaning supplies. Pan to Grif laying in a pool of blood Sarge: It was worth it! Flash to Sarge and Simmons standing, with Grif on floor between them and on fire Sarge: Worth it. Flash to present Sarge: Only because it's always true. There's very few tasks that wouldn't balance out by you making the ultimate sacrifice. Simmons: At least this time we got something out of it. We got power, and a new weapon! Sarge: Let's test this bad boy out. Sarge mounts turret of Warthog, points at Grif Grif: Whoa, wait a second. Does this hologram jeep shoot hologram slugs, or real slugs? Sarge: As long as we are in this room, everything will seem real to us. It's all simulated, but your mind makes it real. Simmons: Ooh, like the Matrix! Lopez: Sí, pero sin toda la filosofía oriental que nadie entiende. but without all the Eastern philosophy stuff that no one understands Grif: Alright, fuck this. I'm going to stand over there. Sarge: Well guess what, dirtbag? I don't need you for target practice anymore. I've got my own holo-Grif programed into the system already. Lopez makes a holo-Grif Holo-Grif: Hello! I am literally the worst program ever made! Simmons: It sounds like someone hasn't used Google Chrome... Sarge: Locked and loaded, ready to fire at the bloated. Grif... I mean, fake Grif... go stand over there. Holo-Grif: Cool... Whatever... Holo-Grif runs to center of room Sarge: This is a magnetized propulsion system. It can fire massive slugs at an outrageous velocity! Check it out. Sarge fires, killing holo-Grif and stalling out the Warthog's engine. Holo-Grif: (flying as corpse) Blarg! I deserve it! Another figure is seen, standing where holo-Grif was Sarge: Heh heh. See? How awesome is that? Simmons: Wow! Sarge: And in 10 short seconds, it'll be ready to fire again. Simmons: That's incredible! Wait a minute... Sarge: Lopez, spawn me another holo-Grif on the pronto. Lopez: Sí Grif: Did you guys see that? Sarge: Shut up real-Grif! We're doing important research over here! Hey Simmons, check this out: I'm gonna shoot the next one in the hoo-hoo. Another Grif spawns Holo-Grif: Oh, hey guys. What's goin- Sarge fires at the Holo-Grif directly at his groin Cut to Blue base. Caboose amid bits of equipment Caboose:(Creepily) Finally we're all here. Now we can be together... forever. Cut back to Red holo-room. A holo-Grif dies, adding to a pile of dead holo-Grifs Sarge: Alright. Lopez, another holo-Grif. Lopez: Esta cosa hace otros blancos sabéis...'' thing makes other targets you know... '''Sarge': Bah, let's stick with the fundamentals. Stalled jeep restarts Simmons: OK, Sarge. Do you mean to tell me this thing fires once every 10 seconds? Sarge: Yep. It's state of the art. Another holo-Grif spawns Holo-Grif: Let's get this over with... Simmons: But our last weapon fired 10,000 rounds per second. Sarge: If my math is right, and I think it is, that seems like more than this one. Simmons: Yes, it is. Sarge: How much more would you say? Simmons: Well, the chaingun was 10,000 rounds per second, and this would be 0.1 of a round per second. So yeah, it was. Sarge fires again, killing holo-Grif and stalling jeep once more. Grif sees figure Sarge: It does seem to be lacking in the rapid fire department. Grif: I know I'm not crazy. I just saw something move. Sarge: Oh well, a good craftsmen never blames his tools. Simmons: But, we made the tool in this case. Can we blame the craftsman? Sarge: No, Simmons. You and the gun are just going to have to agree to disagree. Five holo-Grifs spawn, in a line Simmons: Let me take a look. Maybe I can increase the rate of fire. (mounts jeep and drives off) Sarge: And maybe Lopez can find a way to spawn Grifs faster Lopez: ¡Hace otras cosas!'' makes other things! '''Grif': Guys, seriously. I know I saw something. (approaches line of holo-Grifs) Aha! See? This one is weird. It's all light red instead of orange. Sarge: (not looking) No Grif, I'm sure it isn't Simmons: You're probably still hallucinating from the charge you took. Grif: Yeah, I don't think so. Look! Sarge: Grif, we are busy! You and Donut shut up and stop distracting us. Grif: But I... Donut?! Donut: Water... Grif: Eeyah! Donut?! Simmons: Donut? Grif: Where the hell did you come from? Donut: Water... Grif: You came from the water? Donut: Water! (collapses) Grif: I didn't even know you would swim Donut: Grif! He needs help! It's under... the sand... find him. Grif: Oh boy. That sounds like something that's gonna keep us busy for a few months Sarge and Simmons approach Sarge: Holy mamma mia. Donut! Where's he been? Simmons: Donut! Grif, what did he say? Grif: Hm? Who, him? Oh, uh, he just said he wanted some water. Simmons: That's it? Grif: Yeah, uh, just the water thing, uh, oh! Also that he really missed everyone. Sarge: Why don't I believe you? Grif: Um, he also said that he liked the new jeep. Fade to black Sarge: Hot damn! I always knew that kid had style. Gallery Donut Relocated.png|Donut is back, but not for long. Video Category:Episodes Category:Relocated